It is your life too. So Ive been in a relationship with my partner for over a year and a half, and in the past 6 months things have really become difficult for both of us. Are they really trying to help themselves? please help! Developing a strong therapeutic relationship with a clinician will afford you a much-needed opportunity to focus on yourself. Imagine if you stay another couple years, get married, have children, then that person does the unspeakable after that? If you can be open about how you're feeling, it can still be possible to work on it together. Im sick of having nothing in my life matter. You create your own reality. If she wanted to cheat that is her choice. Im not talking about that Mexican guy that lives down the street. I beat my depression, i became happy again but after a year with my gf and trying to care for her depression i can feel it creeping back again. We were engaged. Its killing me inside as she looks so helpless, vulnerable, alone and she has the face of one of the most beautiful girls you would ever meet. If you have any of these friends, you should reconsider that relationship. The 3 Cs: You didnt Cause it, you cant Control it, you cant Cure it. She had many great traits and was amazing in some areas of the relationship which made it hard to think about ending the relationship when I thought I was getting so much out of it. Head up, somewhere we still exist and can grow back to be ourselves. Im not really looking for advice with this, just getting something off my chest to the world. You wish your sex like was more active, but hate being the one to initiate. Now dont get me wrong, I get shes depressed and I feel for her, but I used to never have outbursts in my relationship period, and by now, 8 years in, the only way to make her stop taking all of her aggressive-depression(not that shed get violent, but yell on the most absurd things)/anxieties on me is to stoop down to her level and shout back, which then makes me feel like a jerk, she (almost) never say sorry, and for everytime she yells at me, somehow at the end I have to apologize or shell frown at me forever (claiming everything is fine, but obviously is it) You're so shallow. Everyday is a battle. Gently but strongly. Like you rejecting the last possible form of understanding and connection. Somehow though, everyone seems to find a way to keep going and be happier and that can so be you! So are yours always casting concerned looks? Im different then most I let her know I care everyday and all day but at same time I have tons of hobbies that detract from everything. Peace, In other words man if you cant make a difference with ger,and just using you for attention move on. Seeing the change in her every day life and general well-being has been nothing short of a complete shock to me. He has on multiple occasions told me that he only feels happy, safe and secure around me, and that if it wasnt for me he wouldve killed himself long ago. And I know hes going to hate me and say I dont understand. I did anything to help her, yet there seems to be no progress. The medications side effect is sex blocking, also with her off alcohol her mind cant deal with emotions as other people, so basicly we had like 3 times sex this year. We stopped having sex last year because of her trauma. 1 shes too lazy 2 her parents dont let her. She didnt want to go to my graduation. Learn how to be supportive if need be and get counseling yourself. I feel trapped. Also over the years I have cancelled so many plans with friends to take time to help her that I have lost contact and have become depressed myself about my loneliness. (You're so tired) But you just can't sleep. If I talk in a neutral tone or raise my voice even slightly she says I am scary and becomes inconsolable. Youre so much less experienced and you know so much less than you think, Im not saying that as a criticism at all, Im sure youve been through more than I can imagine, but people have gone through this before and somehow got passed it to live their life for decades and decades. Im more bummed cause were not having as much sex as Id like. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. When you're in a relationship and feeling depressed, two people suffer. So I fight. But of course this isn't the case in an unhealthy relationship. Be found at the exact moment they are searching. I really don't know the best way if breaking it to her and I don't wanna do anything that I'll regret 3 28 28 comments Add a Comment AutoModerator 8 mo. And if an argument crops up, it almost always goes smoothly (i.e., no screaming, or blaming, or anything horrible like that). My Girlfriend's Depression Is Bringing Me Down. Hi guys Step down, itll make both of you happier long term. So that he loves himself. I feel for all of you guys! Youve been shouldering a significant burden on your own for years; it sounds like you are ready to let someone help you carry the load. I feel for you all. So even if you don't initially make the connection, your relationship could be why you're always up at night. Buy she apparently can go on a day out with her ex to hang out behind her parents back.s he cant even do that for me?? When we first met she experienced severe triggers and dissociative states, which led to her being unable to finish her degree, something she carries a great deal of shame from. After everything I did, I have been there every single day, sharing my life with her, and pushing her away from this disease. 16 Hard Launch Caption Ideas That'll Break The Internet, These 3 Zodiac Signs Are The Biggest Flirts, According To Astrologers, 45 Quotes Thatll Inspire You During Womens History Month, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. It may be subtle behaviors such as never showing an interest in you or socializing with your friends, or it could be outright insults that damage your sense of self-worth. this relationship is stressing both of us out and thats why she does not want to be in it. Ive been there, multiple times. Peace, Man, you guys are explaining my life. It takes a huge amount of love to do that. I take it this is detrimental to a persons feelings who has depression. See what I mean? Smoking and drinking! Im so tired now and giving her space and to myself too while figuring what I should do, to stay or leave? I was acting like it all was my boyfriends fault, and I sometimes felt like this. You are in a relationship, you two must have had a reason to be with eachother. Those are the moments you should be focusing on, that is the person that youre in a relationship with. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. One Direction - Drag Me Down (Official Video)Follow on Spotify - https://1D.lnk.to/SpotifyListen on Apple Music - https://1D.lnk.to/AppleMusicListen on Amazo. We all have to remain positive people. She will have better and badder days and she will be back to old pattern. And that one is difficult for boys: you HAVE to not think through your ego. Long distance relationships where you rarely/never meet in person are not really the same thing. Good luck and remember the love bit. Fact is the depression got better since he mey, I struggle with episodes now, not the full playlist, so to speak. You are helpful to them by being there when they need you. I know that you wnat to help but it doesnt really sound like you are getting the things that you need out of this sort of relationship anymore. Leave. So if your partner isn't pulling his or her weight, you may find yourself feeling like giving up. I feel you. The way this went down was that I got very worried and stayed up all night trying to stop her, and since then it has happened multiple times. Dont worry too much about your girlfriend saying that you shouldnt talk to her anymore. Her ex (whom I happen to know) ended their year of marriage when he couldnt handle her depression as a spouse, so they are now friends & respectful of our relationship. Every time we go out she freaks out. She tried attempting suicide few times.Even I am loving her lot but could not make her understand.she always wants me to be around my arms! she is unhappy with dating. Anyway, now we are almosr 3 yrs together and from the start of this year she finally admited being alcoholic and she started treatment process, with medications and therapy. Here are a few signs that the guy you're with is leaving you depressed. Girls love that kind of crap and its not gay or anything if you do something where you express your feelings. Been experiencing something very similar in my relationship, I have been helping my girlfriend with her anxiety and depression for years as well and its been so long that often I feel down and hopeless too. Prior to start Adobe Premiere Pro 2023 Free Download, ensure the availability of the below listed system specifications. She will feel a million times worse than you what about how the other side feel and how they cant cope but just have to sit and wait for them to snap out of by the time they snap out of it they could be going to their partners funeral or word they wont be able to then look after their partner. Its only now that I see how much it was hurting me and that my health was suffering so much. The fact that shes still hanging around him enforces that theyve cheated. If I ate a regular dinner I felt like it was a huge success. I am afraid that if I leave she will kill herself, she is completely obsessed with me and I cant escape. When I asked her what she thinks about the future, she said it wont be happiness and that it is impossible to be happy, and that she never imagine about our relationship anymore. The more. It also seems like you have come to the realization that this situation is not sustainable and that something must change. We need ways to keep the flame and love alive. I'm seeing shapes behind the curtain. Ive been going to therapy for 3 years and talking about my problems doesnt help me. Method 1 Addressing It Right Now 1 Avoid reacting immediately. That's because healthy relationships are pretty easily recognized, while bad ones are never, ever the same. Relationships are supposed to build you up, be super supportive, and make you a better person. Hi everyone Over the past year I dated someone that was unbalanced and going through a significant life transition. Recently I have many more commitments and as a result I no longer have the time to reassure her all the time, and her depression has gotten much worse. Lately she has been responding to me uncaringly and uninterested. I am a fighter so that was my reaction. When that happens, it may be time for some serious reflection. Do something romantic. But i will never get married again since it really has become very risky for many of us men that have been married the first time. She still will randomly text me I love you! The odd time but the girl I felt secure with seems to have left her conscience. 2. Your Dilemmas: My girlfriend's negative energy is dragging me down. We r loving since 5-6 years! Its created a weird dynamic in our relationship which has all but ruined our sex life. I admit I got carried away with video games, I wasnt quick to the punch texting her back but Id always tell her where I am what Im up to so she would know and I would always give her an heartfelt lengthy reply. Youll feel like your carrying a heavy anchor your whole life and will always be exhausted emotionally. You are an enabler when you take on others problems to the point where they become your own. I am not sure if Im still with her for love, for the codependency that has definitely developed or simply because I have been doing this so long I dont know any different, I have almost the exact same problem. And in one point of last month,she gave me a talk about how love is stupid and its just a distraction and that it doesnt last forever. I personally have never had to deal with depression of my own, I guess I would consider myself an always glass have full guy. its comforting to know that other couples go through the same things. I was in shock but I have on other option than to fight. I think it is a complicated thing close relationships on one hand you are sharing everything on the other sometimes you cant tell some truths, because you feel like you gonna hurt someone. And I was aware that there is so much wrong, that it is complicated, that I really cant explain it. That was unbalanced and going through a significant life transition and its not gay or anything if you be... Got better since he mey, I struggle with episodes now, the. You rarely/never meet in person are not really looking for advice with this, just getting something my. 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