This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. A condescending person thrives on how people react to them. Let go of your need to control the end result of the conversation, and you can have some fun with it. You were my favorite player growing up and I respect your game." 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This is why condescending people wont listen to any other opinions as opposed to their own. Jessica is trained in the Imago technique and the Gottman method for couples therapy. Im guessing theres no point in me trying to explain to you how wrong you are. Web1. We hear the tone of their voice, see their facial expressions, read their body language and can pick up their general energy. Its currently playing on The Vessel (one of our partners) but only for a limited time. Arrogant people have a knack for hurting other people's feelings. Treating someone with condescension is the opposite of treating them with respect. Instead, try to show respect and ask questions in a polite manner. Instead, just use the behavioral method of extinction in which you just dont respond to a snobs attempts to impress you. And thats okay. WebJimmy Kimmel on Tuesday fired back at Tucker Carlson after the Fox News host accused him of repeating talking points from foreign governments when the coronavirus Theyll bring their weaknesses into the conversation and make sure that everyone knows about it, even if the person is someone close to them. After all, a condescending person wants to be better than others, so if they have to, theyll use negative words and actions to put others down. Its a must-watch and we couldnt recommend it more highly. They will always be looking for ways to prove that others are wrong and inferior. 9. Or someone speaking to a co-worker as if theyre beneath them and do not understand what theyre doing when theyre equal and understand perfectly what to do. If all else fails, use sarcasm and irony to make light of their superiority complex and let them know that you dont take them seriously. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. When they act superior, let them. They act as if they know everything, even things they might not have full knowledge about, but theyll pretend that they do. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Make it about what they stand to gain if they stop talking down to you and other people. When interacting with other people, context is everything. Witty or Smart Comebacks for Condescending Remarks. As an active listener, you might respond to a condescending remark by asking them how they are or whether everything is okay. It means theyre thoughtless and possibly oblivious to the way they sound. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. How do you tell if someone is being condescending? If your relationship with this person is important to you, you can gently point out to them how their behavior comes across to you and ask them to be more aware of it. If someone steps on your toes, tell them. It works best with people who are perceptive and thoughtful enough to recognize what youre doing and take it to heart. Just thinking of their patronizing words makes your blood boil. Cool story, bro. If someone is being condescending, smile sarcastically and nod. 1. WebThere are plenty of ways to insult a condescending person but the best way is to ignore them or use your tone of voice when you are around patronizing people or a This is why in order for them to feel better about themselves, theyll try their best to downplay others. 14. Heres the important part: if someone says they are familiar with something, For instance, in this scenario you might say, I know youve driven here a couple of times before. Your email address will not be published. Youll need to be careful with this one. Laughter helps people relax. Other peoples achievements dont really matter to them. 3. Sometimes deciding if a person is actually being condescending or if its all in your head is difficult. A better alternative might be to say, "I'm disappointed in what you did." They may be more educated, experienced, or wealthy than the people they are speaking to. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. They rarely talk about their personal lives or things that are bothering them. Then, you two can talk it out and come up with a solution together. In the schoolyard, this healthcare provider was a bully. What Does X Mean when Texting? Putting other people down is a clear sign of insecurity, you know. Condescending people often lack emotional intelligence, so they struggle to understand how other people are feeling or what their problems are about. They may be scared of losing you so make you feel small, so you think they are your only option. They feel that your wins are trivial and pale in comparison to their successes. 14. I bet you have been insulted by a condescending idiot and want to know how to return the insult. Your email address will not be published. Its easy to get defensive when you are dealing with difficult people. With some folks, you wonder if theyre even conscious of it. 18. They dont want to debate but instead, they just want to get out of the conversation without having to see things from another perspective. A person who is condescending in their comments toward others often: 1) wants to win the discussion, usually by squelching any dissent. This enables a condescending person to give themselves the air of superiority that they crave. If theyre convinced theyve done nothing wrong and youre overreacting, theyre more likely to dismiss what you say as weakness or silliness. Consider Suck my dk and Blow me.. Two can play at this tangent game. Its funny how you talk down to people yet everyone looks down on you. Remember, their words have no power over you. Fortunately, there are some ways you can confront condescending people and put an end to their patronizing behavior. 1. 2. When other people are talking, theyll barely say anything unless they feel like their comments will point out a mistake that you made in your speech or argument. They might say something like you know that already or its so easy. Condescending people have no desire to work through your feelings. sniffy adjective. Wow! Theyre just more tools that can help them achieve what they need or want, so they can use them to their benefit without feeling any responsibility at all for the other persons opinions or feelings. Be respectful and dont gang up, but make it clear they are problematic. They might try to explain themselves, but if they refuse to acknowledge their patronizing tone or language, you dont owe them an ear. As Jeanette Brown, the creator of the online course Life Journal says, condescending people are more interested in what other people think of them, rather than what they think of themselves, which is a sign of insecurity. What do you say to someone who is condescending? After all, theyre always trying to look smart and impressive. Their attitude of superiority can be really annoying. Theyll constantly tell you to do things a certain way, and theyll never listen to what the other person is saying. Jessica George, MA, CHt. Dont get upset by what theyre saying because it will just make their aggression worse. By using a tone of voice thats like a parent talking to a child, theyll make the other person look like they are lower status. In some cases, responding with patience or with humor is best. Condescending people often think that they are the most intelligent and knowledgeable person in the room, so they dont want to negotiate or compromise. Dont take it personally (even when its meant to be personal). This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. They Insult Other People. If someone is always downplaying your ideas and contributions, and believes they know more than you, make them prove it. Use whatever excuse comes to mind, or simply interrupt them with Excuse me, in a calm, cool voice and leave them to their own company. by A condescending person might say something like, Well, I would agree with you, but then wed both be wrong., Say something like, Hey, what did you mean when you said that I probably wouldnt understand that joke?, Try something like, You said Id tell you this joke, but I dont think youd understand it. Do you think that Im not smart enough to get your jokes?, You might say something like, What you said was pretty condescending. If you do, you should consider setting some boundaries and teaching people how to treat you. If youre dealing with a toxic coworker with a penchant for talking down to people and belittling them in other ways, keep a log at least for the most inappropriate or offensive behavior. By NyRee Ausler Written on Nov 09, 2022. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Why would they do this? So if you separate yourself from the situation for a while, then they wont keep pestering you with their opinions or tactics. We will take a look at why this happens and what you can do about it to end this battle. Its only because they care about you and want you to be happy that theyre trying to push your buttons. You can address bad office behavior by telling people when their actions are not OK with you. This is because condescending people feel superior to others, so theyll gladly point out the mistakes of others in order to feel better about themselves. And keep track of who else witnessed each incident. Last Updated: November 29, 2022 After all, if they admit their mistakes then theyll admit to being inferior in some way. They need the recognition, the attention and for everyone to agree with them. If people are regularly condescending towards you, there may be a reason. Are you aware of the way you speak to people? Remember that how you respond They lack both emotional intelligence and self-awareness, so they cant properly express themselves. So dont take everything they say as an insult. If you look in the dictionary, the definition of condescending is: showing or characterized by a patronizing or superior attitude toward others. Communication is key here, especially if youre upset about something. Im going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you dont know that stupid that comment was. Thousands have attended and told us that the masterclass has completely transformed their relationships for the better. They often use sarcasm or mocking tones to put down those around them, making it seem as though their ideas are more important than anyone elses. 2. This can help create an open dialogue between the two of you and set expectations for future interactions. Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full pricewine, food delivery, clothing and more. informal behaving in a way that shows that you do not think someone or something is good or important enough for you. "I hate this," Minhaj chided. You just need to do it this way. Inserting these words into your sentences immediately makes you sound condescending. 19. Condescension is often rooted in feelings of superiority or arrogance and can be caused by insecurity or a lack of confidence in oneself. And then youll be able to deal with them in a way that makes sense and you wont feel angry anymore. They think that theyre better than everyone else and that they should be admired, so theyll refuse to acknowledge other peoples achievements and try to downplay them. "You are the human equivalent of a participation award." Its is best to avoid being condescending in any way as it can make people feel uncomfortable and unwanted. Make a list of your own encounters and ask yourself which of the above responses makes sense in each situation. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. 3. Add something interesting youve learned. If that is the case, you could try some of these more lighthearted responses and might just put a smile on their or someone elses face while you make it clear you dont appreciate their downward-looking attitude: Related List of comebacks for rude pregnancy comments. Im going to have to ask you kindly to wait your turn, adults are speaking at the moment. Do a self-assessment to make sure you dont have the word victim tattooed across your forehead. If possible, try to change the subject or redirect the conversation away from any negative topics. One of the most hurtful things condescending people do is tell you how to feel. They may try to one-up you when you talk about something you achieved. WebWell, that's what my PR people tell me." If that is the case you have come to the right place to figure this out. Calmly and professionally call out the patronizing person without making a scene or offensive an insulting word for someone who is not good at doing physical things or who is considered stupid. For example, if theyre saying something insulting, then you can acknowledge their negative opinion but get out of it by saying something like: I can see what youre saying, but I dont agree, or: I understand where youre coming from, but maybe we shouldnt make assumptions.. It is important to differentiate rudeness from abusive behavior. Let them know that their continued behavior will not be tolerated. People in positions of power may also use condescending language to assert their dominance over others. He lifted me off the ground, I just remember not being able to breathe, she said, while claiming that he would have threatened her with his fist. Stay calm. Antetokounmpo said. Give yourself time to calm down before discussing it with them directly. A condescending person is someone who believes that their opinion is the only valid one and that everyone else should listen to and obey them regardless of their own thoughts and beliefs. Another amusing way to teach a condescending person a lesson and put a chink in their armor is to avoid them and make it obvious that youre doing it. You tell them theyre being condescending, but they just dismiss you with even more condescension. Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. If you know someone who talks down to you in a condescending way, there is nothing wrong with firing back with a witty, funny, or snappy comeback it might just give them the wake-up call they need! If theyre saying that a certain person is wrong, then you should say the same thing but with a more positive tone so it sounds like you agree with them. Did you like my article? 13 Signs The Relationship Is Over For Him, 109 Best Appreciation Messages To Show Gratitude, The Ultimate Love List: 365 Reasons Why I Love You, 11 Effective Exercises For Letting Go Of Resentment, Letter to Your Daughter: 13 Heartfelt Sentiments to Consider, 13 Best Ways To Deal With A Disrespectful Grown Child, 147 Powerful Morning Affirmations To Start Your Day. Dont take it personally. Dealing with a condescending person requires a lot of patience. They feel more intelligent and important when everyone agrees with what theyre saying. Dont let them. WebWhen someone is condescending, they are being rude and dismissive. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Please bless us with your insight, oh Great One! WebWitty or Smart Comebacks for Condescending Remarks. Here are some of the important things to keep in mind when someone is being condescending towards you: As difficult as it may be, its incredibly important that you stay calm no matter what was said to you. 12. Using language to reduce a man to homosexual is an equally, if not more, effective tool of insult and emasculation. After all, they struggle to see things from another point of view that isnt their own. I have some breath mints if you want one. For example, you could say something like I understand that you are trying to be helpful but I feel like you are talking down to me which makes me uncomfortable. Theyll never admit when theyre wrong or accept responsibility, even if its obvious that theyve done something wrong. When dealing with a condescending person, it is important to remain professional and maintain your composure. 5. Why? An important thing you can say is to use I instead of You. It can also arise from a sense of entitlement as if the condescending person believes that they are deserving more respect than those around them. Its about developing a healthy and nurturing relationship with you! If they try to laugh it off as a joke that youre not getting, maintain the cool composure. Thats why they can be quite manipulative theyre only focused on achieving what they want and need, not what other people do. Because maybe they dont care about anything else. Its basically acting in a way that shows a superior attitude over someone as a way of undermining or annoying them when there is no reason to do so as if there ever is a reason! If you really want to have some fun, throw in a few comments like thank you, your highness!. Thats because theyre just not good enough to talk about their own achievements and it will make them feel inferior in the end. This is part of their lack of self-reflectiveness. Using condescending language is a favorite tool of those who want to appear more intelligent, more sophisticated, or wiser than the one they dislike or disagree with. Do your job. Regards, Im over 45. OR Im pissed off. Kind regards, I didnt know it was possible to dislike someone this much. Warm regards, I will finish you. TIP: If you want to know whether someone likes you, look at their sign-off. Condescending people love to talk about their own achievements because they want the attention and recognition for doing those things. It seems like theres one in every workplace. And we end up caring about what others think of us rather than focusing on what we need at a more fundamental level. If the intent of their statement was sharp, this would dull it in a jiffy. WebYou never need whatever follows the for; just stop with Youre so well-spoken/fit/intelligent/etc. Phrases like these are more than just insulting compliments; I know this is strange. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. When you do respond, however, its important you think before you speak youll probably only get one chance. WebThere are several different ways that you can deal with condescending people, depending on the circumstance as well as the people involved. Theyll often switch the blame to someone else, or simply defuse it entirely by saying something vague and neglecting to give a real explanation. Im kind of partial to my face.. Sorry to bother you again. Im really not sorry. Spiritual awakening and anxiety: Whats the connection? As we have mentioned, a condescending person has a big ego. If someone is talking down to you out of habit but not with meanspiritedness, it still doesnt say anything about you. People who dont usually say hurtful things are more likely to do so when theyre in pain. Do you think you could explain that in even more detail so someone like me could understand it, please? WebThe best way to deal with a condescending coworker is to ignore them. And if they see that you really arent like them, then hopefully itll make them go back to thinking about whats important in the conversation instead of trying to push your buttons. 15 Answers You Need To Know, When you talk to me that way, I feel that _______, or, Oh, now, honey Have I said something to trigger you?, Well, arent we making an effort to look nice today., No one expects you to figure this out on your own, dear., Actually, Hon, why dont you simmer down a bit while I do the talking?, Speaking to someone else as though youre not there: Shell need to come back in for a follow-up appointment. Condescending people tend to have a big ego. And who wouldnt? If youre calm and polite, then theyll realize that youre not the same person that they thought you were. This is the time to set clear boundaries in a calm but distinct voice and ensure the other person gets the message: Its in their best interest to respect them. In their mind, their condescending remarks are completely normal, and their lack of emotional intelligence keeps them from seeing any other point of view. How to Insult an Arrogant Person. They like to boast about themselves and their achievements. That will just worsen the situation. If necessary, you can tell them what youre prepared to do if they dont back off. A respectful person often has an easier time talking to everyone and making more friends. When they act superior, let them. When we have a conversation with someone face to face, its made up of so much more than just words. Since they dont have to be intelligent to be condescending, the only feedback that will stay with them may be the kind that points to a prize. You keep calm and carry on. 1. This directly or indirectly can alter our views on other minds. 10. Find a public place to meet and let them know you don't appreciate their comments. But the problem with being aggressive is that you might end up looking like the same kind of person they are, and thats what they want. 11. You were my favorite player growing up and I respect your game." I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. 5. Because they want to make it appear like other people dont have as much authority as them. Example: Your shoulder strap is wandering a bit, dear. One way to belittle them is to point out their shortcomings. RELATED: 15 Immediate Warning Signs You're Dealing With A Toxic Person. So if you make a joke about them its going to show them that youre careless and doesnt take them seriously. WebSometimes, the tone of a persons voice or the way that they say things can come across as condescending, but theyre actually trying to be helpful. Use whatever excuse comes to mind, or simply interrupt them with Condescending people think that theyre so much better than everyone else, and they treat them as if they were inferior. To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. This article has been viewed 31,122 times. They can always come up with a reason why theyre not responsible for their actions. This is how they keep their fragile ego intact. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. They always want to make sure that theyre right and that everyone else agrees with them and values their opinion more than other peoples thoughts or ideas. You are not obligated to be around anyone who doesnt respect you. People who are condescending use "emotional blackmail" to make others bow to their wishes. Document their words and list witnesses. But its not. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and Ive spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Condescension is an insulting way of talking to other people, as if they were stupid or ignorant. Whatever the reason, condescending remarks are never needed and can be quite hurtful. A need to feel powerful or important can also lead to condescension. Be quiet. "Entertain me." Condescending people are sometimes unaware of how they make people feel. showing disapproval showing that you think you are more important or more intelligent than other people. He raised his hand and strangled me. Jessica holds a Bachelors degree from The University of California, Santa Barbara and an MA in Counseling Psychology and Talk Therapy from Ryokan College. This is why we partnered with Rud Iand to produce a free masterclass on transforming our relationships through the practice of self-love. You want them to feel what youre feeling. Now, its time to look at 15 responses both internal and outward each one based on the situation and the type of person youre dealing with. I'm sorry you feel so insecure about your own life. Examples of this would be a parent speaking to their grown child as if they were still a toddler. sure, cool story, Im definitely listening. Oftentimes, Theyll often say things that are hurtful or even cruel without really realizing what theyve said. Some folks are just so used to talking down to people that its become their default. They hate seeing other people achieve success and theyre going to do everything that they can to bring them down. 4. Read on to learn 15 of the best responses to use when someone is condescending. (& What To Do). When people make a condescending comment, theyre actually trying to help. Maybe youve heard someone suggest a response like one of the following: Of course, this approach only works when the other person cares about how you feel or interpret their words or delivery. She is a member of the International Board of Coaches and Practitioners (IBCP). I know a thing or to grab attention without asking for it. That way, if your employer asks you what youve noticed, youll have a written record of that behavior. This is because they wont keep their air of superiority and if they talk about genuine personal issues in their life, then theyre going to have to lower their guard and reveal a vulnerable side. 11. I hope being condescending makes you feel bigger inside because it makes you look smaller outside. Try to empathize with them, as this can help build rapport and understanding. It indicates a human with a complex flavor profile. In short, dont try to invoke what isnt there. They want to show everyone that theyre better than the rest because deep down they actually feel inferior toward others. Look at your bully whenever they insult you and simply walk away. Sage or wizard If you have lived past 45, are a halfway decent person and not cruel or mean, then yes, you are magical. Thats exactly what condescending people do: whether they mean to or not, they often make us feel like we arent as smart as them or we dont deserve to be talking to them. Surprise me by saying something intelligent next time. Assuming a tone of superiority, or a patronizing attitude. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. asshole noun. There might be affiliate links on some of the pages of this site, which means we could earn a small commission of anything you buy. Theyre so self centered that they cant put their thoughts into words in a way that makes sense to anyone else besides themselves. Ugh, condescending or patronizing people are some of the most annoying, frustrating, and ignorant people to deal with. RELATED: If He Does These 5 Things, He's Not Chivalrous He's Manipulative. That will just make them angry and youll have a harder time trying to resolve the situation. This article was co-authored by Jessica George, MA, CHt and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Watch your body language and be aware of your tone. You dont owe condescending people a chance to finish their sentences or express their whole thought. This is less about how their words make you feel, and more about how not being a condescending jerk will benefit them. Theyre going to do everything they can to bring the other person down and make them feel inferior.
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